


Crushing

by Midnightlove87



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Angst, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-05
Updated: 2012-06-05
Packaged: 2017-11-06 23:17:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/424320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midnightlove87/pseuds/Midnightlove87
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She's been crushing on him for years, this year she vows to make sure he sees her as something other than his pseudo little sister. Will he crush her when he shows up to Christmas with his new fiancée or will she crush him in return? AH Olderward.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Who is This?

**Thank you to JA Mash who made me a lovely banner. And I owe a big thank you and hug to my wonderful beta MC who is sticking with me through this little tale.**

**He's 29 and she's just 20.**

**Ride with me while we see them try to figure out themselves and maybe see if something is there between them.**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

**BPOV**  
I slung my bag into the back of Rose's black jeep.

I let out a deep breath; it was hard to believe it was that time of the year again.

Of course, we all knew it was coming. All that cramming and sweating out tireless exams. Yep, it shouldn't be a surprise that it was the end of another semester; time flew when you were studying your ass off.

I hopped in and tried not to shiver as the cold from the leather seats beneath me seeped through my three layers of clothes.

The Jeep rumbled to life when Rose flicked the key and I quickly blasted the heat.

"Cold?" Rose asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Uh yeah, WSU radio said it was supposed to be like ten below today."

She chuckled, "Yeah it's a tit nipply out."

I laughed at her stupid joke, while shaking my head.

Rose didn't waste time, she knew it was a long haul back home to Forks and we needed to move to make good time.

The rush of white flew past as Rose drawled on and on about how excited she was about the holidays.

A younger version of me probably would've scowled at her over her jubilance, but I just smiled and pretended to be listening. Not because I didn't want to listen to my best friend talk about Christmas, no, because my parents were spending the holidays in St. Tropez. I wasn't jealous of them at all. Honestly, I could've cared less about seeing them this Christmas or what they were doing, considering the fact that it had been over a year since I had actually _seen_ them at all.

I decided to concentrate on something much better and definitely more appealing.

_Him…_

I wondered if he would be there. _Who was I kidding? He'd never missed a year before, why would he start now?_

"What do you think you'll get for Christmas?" she asked as she plugged in her iPod and skimmed it for something good to listen to while driving.

I shrugged.

All I wanted for Christmas was one thing. I wondered if this would be the year I got what I truly wanted…

***C***

"When's he getting here?" I asked Rose discretely.

Rose's deep blue eyes gave me the once over before she tossed her blonde hair over her shoulder, satisfied that I hadn't wrecked the outfit of hers that she had insisted I wear home, she gave me a nod. I didn't really know why she bothered, she was an easy ten compared to me, but she tried and I went with it. I kept telling her that I would never look as good as she did; my brown eyes killed the outfit. Her blue ones were what made it.

Rose was my best friend and had been since we met in preschool. I'd been pretty much living with her family since I was old enough for sleepovers, thanks to my parents' ever present business trips. And somehow it seemed like the holidays were even busier for them, so that meant for the seventh year in a row, I was spending it with the Cullens.

The oversized white house at the end of the wooded road always brought a smile to my face. It meant laughter, smiles, and good times had by all.

The smell of Esme's freshly baked chocolate chip cookies tempted my nose. Another smell that meant it was truly and definitely the holidays!

I swear every time I would come home I found a new reason for sweat pants.

"He should be here by dinner," she answered hauling her bag over her shoulder.

I did the same and followed her up the familiar stairway.

We were home for a month so we had tons of stuff with us. At college Rose and I were lucky enough to be roommates, so yes that meant that when I was too lazy to do laundry, she was too.

I headed for the guestroom that was conveniently right between Rose and Edward's rooms and smiled when the door creaked open and the room looked the same. The light lavender walls were painted the color that I had picked out when I was ten. The cream colored rug that lay beside the bed, the patchwork quilt that was folded back inviting me into bed, the knick-knacks that cluttered the bureau, everything, and it was all the same. I sighed.

_Now this was home._

Esme had changed the sheets and dusted the room, but every damn thing was the same and I loved that. There was never any familiarity when I went to my parents' house, no, nothing that screamed _this is where I grew up_.

I unpacked my clothes and messed with my dark hair. The typical things girls do.

After grabbing my book I lounged on the bed. I had a month to read a bunch of books for my next class and I figured I might as well start now.

When someone knocked on the door I nearly fell off the bed.

"Come in," I mumbled trying to right myself.

Rose came running in.

"What's up?" I wondered.

"Edward's gonna be here in a minute," she said. I glanced at the clock and she was right.

"So?" I asked wondering what her fuss was about.

Her hands twisted and she sighed.

I narrowed my eyes at her wanting her to just spit it out. It had been a long enough day as it was;, I didn't need her messing with me over trivial shit just for the hell of it.

"He's bringing someone."

Her words silenced the room. Everything from the low hum of the TV, to the warm breeze blowing up from the vent seemed like it had fallen on deaf ears.

I gulped. She'd been trying to be a good friend and not hurt me.

Rose knew deep down that I maybe, sorta, kinda had a thing for Edward, but she also knew there was no way in hell I was going to ever act on it. For one, he was twenty-nine. If the nine year age difference wasn't cringe worthy enough, let's go with the fact that I grew up with him, meaning not only was he Rose's older brother, but he was also like one to me too. Weird huh? Yeah well that was me, crushing on my kinda, sorta older brother.

Rose was cool though, she found out a few years ago and other than a little teasing as to why I was putting mascara on to open up Christmas gifts, she was pretty understanding. She even encouraged me to do something about it once I was eighteen, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

"Like a girlfriend?" I hedged.

_If it was anything more serious I_ _didn't_ _think I could handle it..._

Rose nodded, popping her gum.

I breathed a sigh of relief, for a minute there I wondered if Edward had finally caved and gave into Esme's wishes for him to settle down.

A girlfriend was nothing to Edward. A dime a dozen. But not many had made it home, which was why Esme was constantly after him about growing up and finding a decent woman. Usually they were long gone by the time the holidays rolled around. I figured this one must still be new.

"What's she like?"

Rose shrugged. "He said she's Irish, that's all I know."

I nodded and in my head I pictured a homely frizzy haired redhead, with pasty white skin marred with ugly brown freckles everywhere.

"You okay?" Rose asked.

She was so sweet when she was concerned, but really I wasn't worried.

I nodded and gave her my best smile.

_Nothing to really worry about there._

"Girls! Edward just pulled in, come on down!"

Esme hollered up from downstairs.

I took a quick look in the mirror and with Rose's nod of approval we headed down.

I could see Edward's baby, a bright red 2002 Chevy Camaro, sitting proudly next to Rose's Jeep. So I fixed myself casually on the kitchen bar seat and waited to be greeted by the new Irish tart Edward was toting around.

Esme smiled warmly and placed a fresh cookie in front of me. I smiled back and murmured my thanks before I broke the cookie in pieces. It still boggled my mind just how much Edward looked like his mom. But the same could be said for Rose and her dad. I swear they were like clones instead of kids.

My attention snapped back to reality when I heard the clicking of heels making their way up the walk. I shook my head for a brief moment.

_Really? Who wears heels right after a snowstorm?_

The back door opened and Edward stomped off the snow from his boots before entering the kitchen. The wind whipped and blew in some stray flakes while he shook out his beautiful hair.

I took a long, full second to appraise him.

His cheeks were flushed from the cold and his hair was slightly damp. I wanted nothing more than to go over there and warm him up.

_Mmmm he still looked so good._

My brain almost forgot that he was bringing someone with him, but when he stepped aside and made room on the mat for her to come in I tried to brace myself.

Then in walked nothing like I had imagined. I meant nothing… I didn't even have words for what she looked like.

I was so shocked that I lost my balance up on the seat, slipped right off and fell flat on my ass right there in front of Edward and his new girlfriend.

_Merry fucking Christmas to me!_

* * *

**What'd ya think?** _  
_


	2. Irish? Pfft!

**I'm so glad everyone like the first chapter! Here's chapter 2, the update schedule will be every Monday from here on out! Leave me some feedback!**

**As always a big thank you to my sweetheart beta MC! Love ya girly!  
**

* * *

**Chapter 2**

**BPOV**

Esme gasped.

I shook my head, trying really hard not to let out a whole line of curse words.

"Are you okay sweetheart?" Esme asked, only drawing even more attention to me.

My face heated to a temperature that was most likely so hot it was immeasurable, at least that's what it felt like, but instead of covering my cheeks and crying like a girl, I tried my best to laugh it off.

Rose got the idea and chuckled lightly, too. You could tell it was forced, but that was okay.

A model had just walked into the kitchen and I was left stunned and scrambling to get up off my now sore ass. My hands slipped about on the tile floor and I must've looked like I was struggling because Edward walked over and interrupted the view I had of Ms. Model, but I let him, because let's be honest, I wanted him to be near me in any way possible.

My breath caught in my chest as I fully took him in. His plaid shirt was rumpled and his white undershirt that clung to his chest made my insides clench. Edward was the same old, same old. Which still didn't explain why he was suddenly toting around Ms. Model. Sure, he brought in beautiful women, but they just never were quite this drop dead gorgeous. They were never quite so... above and beyond. Something told me this wasn't just about her being a sure thing...

"Hey Bella, it's good to see you're still just as clumsy as ever," he greeted with a warm smile that made my knees weak. They protested a great deal when his hand shot out and he wanted to help me up off the floor.

I couldn't say that I was content to stay on the floor, but I didn't think I was quite ready to get up. His chilly hand was demanding though, lifting me completely up and holding me steady until I back on my feet. It was so weird to have his hands on me. I had dreamt about many times, but actually having them all over me, in front of everyone, was really _something._

And when I was standing, I could finally see those green eyes that I loved so much.

The moment was short lived though, when Esme's voice broke through.

"You must be Siobhan, did I pronounce that right?" she asked, focusing on the beautiful woman still standing at the door.

"Oh yeah, you nailed it!" Ms. Model replied, with a bright and cheery smile that made me want to gag.

She was five foot seven with long, slender legs that poked out of a tight gray wool skirt. She had on a deep violet silk shirt that perfectly matched her eyes. Yeah, you heard me right, violet eyes. And to make matters worse, the frizzy haired redhead I was expecting was in fact a smooth and straight brunette with deep red highlights. I swear, other than the slight smattering of freckles across her nose, I would never have called her Irish.

"Welcome, I'm Esme, Edward's mom," Esme tutted out, grabbing her into a big hug that actually made me feel all sorts of jealous.

I thought of Esme as my mom and I guess I got a little territorial when it came to her and Carlisle.

"This is Rose, his sister."

Rose offered a hand and a hi, but no hug. She was a loyal friend.

After the attention was off of her, Rose's eyes carefully slid to mine, silently asking if I was okay. I gave her a little nod, because it was my turn in the spotlight.

"And this is Bella, Rose's best friend, but she's more like a family member, a daughter to me," Esme said proudly.

I smiled at her, before turning my attention to Ms. Model. "Hi there, I'm glad to meet you," I said sweetly, offering her a hand.

I wasn't hugging her if my life depended on it.

"It's so nice to meet you too, I've heard so much about Edward's _sisters_ ," Ms. Model replied in a sugary sweet tone.

Again, I wanted to gag.

_Hey, maybe if I stuck around her for the next month I wouldn't gain the normal ten holiday pounds._

Edward awkwardly made it to her side finally, wrapping an around her shoulders. He stood there as proud as peacock and that made my insides twist.

He was never really proud when he'd brought others around, this one was different.

Esme prattled on about how Carlisle was at work and would be home soon. And how he couldn't wait to meet her either.

_Fucking gag again._ It probably wasn't bullshit, but everyone knew how Esme and Carlisle were, they were nice as pie. So it didn't take much to make them want to meet you.

Rose and I excused ourselves pretty quickly once introductions were through. There was no need to hang around with my embarrassment still fresh in everyone's mind.

"She's not fucking Irish," I bitched once the door to Rose's room was closed.

I knew the walls in the house couldn't be trusted so we were in her room, not wanting Edward to hear a word of what we were talking about.

Rose raised a well-manicured eyebrow at me.

"Well maybe she is, but I've seen a lot of Irish people in my day and they all have one thing in common. They're all fire crotches, that bitch out there, she's not a fucking fire crotch and that's not fair," I whined, plopping down on her bed.

"B, it's all good," she chuckled, "relax, because one, you don't know that for sure, she could be a _hidden_ 'fire crotch', and two, he never stays with them for long, so why are you worried?" she asked sitting next to me.

"Because he's never been proud of a girl like that before," I said softly. "It was different, something new; even I could see that Rose."

I use the term girl loosely here because there was nothing girl about Siobhan, she was all woman. From her full breasts to her curvy hips, everything about her screamed sex. I felt like a kid in comparison, with my nearly flat chest and less than curvaceous hips.

Rose rubbed my back soothingly. "You know I hate to say it, but if you had made your move two years ago like I told you to, we wouldn't be here..." she trailed.

I turned and scowled at her.

There was nothing worse than having an 'I told you so' thrown in your face.

After a while of blasting music and trying to get out of my funk, we both decided it was time to go eat something. Carlisle would be home soon and dinner would be on the table.

When we came down the stairs Edward and Siobhan were all cuddled close on the couch. I was disgusted. I hadn't even gotten my hug yet and it was a damn shame because now I didn't even want to touch him.

Rose and I made our way to the kitchen without saying a word to them.

"What were you thinking for a snack?" I asked Rose.

She was already grabbing a handful of cookies. Again, I couldn't understand how she managed to maintain a size two with her eating habits.

"Cookies?" she asked.

I shook my head, I wasn't in the mood for anything sweet, nope actually I wanted something heavy and delicious that I could drown my sorrows in. I was thinking something serious like _Fettuccine Alfredo_ and a big fucking glass of wine, but that wasn't going to happen because we were home.

"Pasta?" I wondered.

"Let me see when Mom expects Dad home and then we'll see what we can cook up, okay?"

I nodded and she left.

I had my head stuffed in the fridge so I didn't hear her when she returned.

"What'd she say?" I mumbled when I heard footsteps behind me.

"What did who say, sweetie?" A foreign voice spoke, making me jump. I ended up hitting my head on the water filter.

I turned rubbing my head to see Siobhan standing there.

She was holding back a chuckle, I wanted to strangle her, but instead I took a deep breath and collected myself offering her a smile.

"I guess you are the clumsy little sister that Edward told me about," she said sweetly.

"Yeah, I guess so," I said nicely, even though I just wanted to tell her to go fuck herself and be done with it.

I went back to the fridge, desperately trying to find something that would satisfy my emotions. I knew it was wrong to eat my feelings, but I didn't care at the moment. I needed any encouragement I could get, even if that meant in the form of calories.

As soon as I was head deep in the fridge she was grabbing at my arm. I nearly shook her off, but I was able to stop myself just in time.

I stepped back out and turned to face her. It took everything in me not to scowl at her. Her violet eyes were so piercing that I wanted to shield myself with a head of lettuce.

"Oh _Bell_ I wanted to get you alone. I'm hoping over the next month we'll get to know each other very well. Maybe even be friends."

_What the fuck did she just call me?_

_And be what the fuck?_

She was like the evil step mother in Cinderella. _Yeah, that's right, I said mother, because the bitch was definitely hovering right around thirty._

"Me too, _Sio_ ," I said, returning her sickeningly sweet smile.

I went to turn back to the fridge again.

"Well, I guess I'll let you get back to your task, I can see you're busy," she said sounding a little down.

It was sad really, she was being genuinely nice, I think, and I couldn't find it in me to care. _Nope, heartless bitch here, couldn't give a fuck.  
_  
Rose finally came trudging back in after a few minutes.

"She said Dad would be home in a few minutes and that pasta was a great idea."

I nodded, smiled and got to work.

We had a clear view of the living room from the kitchen island where we were cooking, and I just couldn't get past how he was hanging all over her. His arm wrapped tightly around her shoulders and his head was leaning into her, and then every once in a while he would smile or laugh. And, a few times he even… _shudder_ … kissed her. _Gag me._

My heart actually hurt. I didn't think that it was possible. I thought with a stupid crush you would feel down, and jealous, but no, this time I felt actual pain in my chest. It was so real too. I almost considered calling Carlisle and asking him to look me over, but I knew it was just Edward, because it lessened when he wasn't right there in front of me, and also when I couldn't see him with _her_.

My mind reeled and I _really_ wanted to talk with Rose, but I was too afraid they would hear us. So I said nothing.

"You should try to get him alone," Rose said very quietly. "You have to do something, B."

I nodded in understanding, but we didn't speak of it again in the kitchen.

No, now that I had the base idea and confirmation of support from Rose, I had to come up with what to do to get him alone. I needed a plan.

* * *

**See you soon! Btw check out my fb page for pictures of Siobhan and Edward and a teaser for chapter 3! Love ya!**


	3. Poker, anyone?

**Morning lovies! Here's the next chapter! A special thanks to my lovely beta MC for helping me out so much with this one! She's just plain awesome!**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

BPOV

"You think bowling would work?" I whispered to Rose.

We were in her room, but I still worried they might here us. I sat on the floor painting my toe nails, while Rose was flipping through a magazine in her desk chair.

I'd spent a whole day agonizing over everything. I was still at a loss as to what Edward and I could do together… alone.

Bowling sounded like fun… _Why not, right?_

Rose shook her head. "No, I just don't think that's gonna work like you want it to."

I pulled at my hair, because really I had no real ideas of where to offer to hang out that wouldn't entice Ms. Model to want to go with us. Honestly, I knew I could get him to go to a bar, but I wasn't quite of age yet, so that was out of the question. I _so_ wasn't going to sit there while he got his drink on.

"Mini golf is out too because, even though it will bring him back to our childhood, I don't want to remind him that I'm like nine years younger than him. The less attention I draw to our age difference the better, I think."

Rose nodded, "True, what about going to see the lights in Seattle together?"

It was a great idea, but there was no way he'd stay overnight with _me_ , while Ms. Model was back at the house. Even if that was _exactly_ what I wanted…

By the way, I found out that Siobhan wasn't a model at all. She was actually an investment attorney in New York, but she saved up all of her vacation for a year to come here for the month. Yeah... That also meant, she was not new. Not new at all. Which unfortunately meant, he stayed with her. My heart sunk even deeper as all the sickening realities of the situation hit.

"No way, he'd never spend a night away from her. Either that or I would be stuck as the worst third wheel in the world," I told her scrunching up my face.

"God Bella, what are you going to do?" Rose asked in frustration as she threw the magazine across the room.

She was just as invested in this as I was, and I loved her for it. She was my best friend through and through.

"Fuck if I know, but I can't just sit here and let her come in and wreck everything that I've been secretly pining over for years. Damn, why didn't I have the balls to do something before this?"

She chuckled at that, which I couldn't blame her. I was so pathetic it was laughable.

"What about a movie?" she suggested after a few more minutes.

_A movie? Wouldn't that be_ _kind of_ _like a date?_

"You don't think that's a little much?" I wondered.

"Not with me tagging along, it isn't. And Siobhan is less likely to want to go if Edward is hanging out with his _sisters_ for the night, right?"

She made all the sense in the world; just that it wasn't her who had to ask Edward to hang out. It was me, and I was worried he would turn me down.

"Makes sense."

"I know that's why I suggested it. _And_ worst case scenario, if he does want her to tag along, you don't have to talk to her for an hour and a half and you have me, you know?" she asked, lifting a brow and cocking her head.

I nodded, but looked down at the floor.

Sure, it seemed so simple, just ask him out to a movie, but I didn't want to come off too strong. That was why I was playing nice with Siobhan. _Fucking gag…_

"It'll be fine B. Don't worry, he loves you and I know he's probably dying to spend some time with you, and with me, his loving sister, for that matter," Rose said with a smirk, rubbing my back.

I smiled at her and hoped like hell she was right. I took a deep breath; I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by all the foreign emotions coursing through my head and heart. _It was just a crush, right?_

Esme called us down for dinner and I flicked my eyes to Rose, hoping for some mercy. She sighed and scooted up behind me and began fiddling with my hair. She always knew just what to do to make it look good and at the moment I could use any help she would give me.

"You know, it really does look so good down."

I shrugged, I didn't think so. It wasn't sleek and well tamed like Siobhan's, it was frizzy and wavy. There wasn't anything sleek about it.

"Fine, if that's what you think," I whispered.

I trusted Rose explicitly. She was always fashion forward and she did know how to make me look and feel good.

After combing my hair in a certain way, she ran to her closet and dug out a quick outfit for me to change into. It was still just skinny jeans and a low-cut t-shirt, but this time the t-shirt would actually fit me instead of my Washington State tee that I had been sporting all day.

"Mascara, some blush, and a little gloss and you'll look amazing," she told me, and I tried really hard to believe her. _I am a strong, confident woman_...Yep…definitely trying.

I nodded and went to work. She was fixing herself up too.

"What's your reason?" I wondered with a smirk, like I said, we were best friends and I _knew_ Rosalie Rae Cullen did not dress herself up for dinner unless there was a handsome man involved.

"Some of Eddie's friends are coming by after dinner," she said softly, casually.

Really she meant that Edward was taking a big step and introducing Siobhan to his tight knit group. I shook my head and tried to focus on my friend. It was far easier than thinking about _that_.

"You still crushing on Paul?"

She blushed and nodded. Rose was great, she could get any guy she wanted, but still held out for one in particular. Paul was twenty-seven, tan, beautiful and grew up with Edward. It was no wonder Rose really liked Paul. He was so nice and always showed Rose a good amount of attention, and actually, I had always thought Paul might've had a thing for Rose, but nothing ever really came of it. I was hedging a guess that she was planning on changing that this break. _Go Rose!_

* **C** *

"Siobhan, what can I get you to drink?" Esme asked from in the kitchen.

Esme was the sweetest hostess alive. She would let her food go cold just to make sure everyone else was happy.

"Oh, I'll just have a water," she replied, with gleaming white teeth.

I wanted to mock her _so_ badly… but I resisted.

"So Bella, have you and Siobhan had a chance to get to know each other?" Daddy Cullen asked.

_Do not roll eyes! Do not roll eyes... Do not... Oh hell._

I smiled brightly at Carlisle, because let's face it, he was a push over for me and I was definitely one of his favorites.

"No, we haven't had much of a chance, but I'm sure we'll have plenty of time before Rose and I leave again," I told him.

He smiled back at me before dipping his fork into his food. I didn't even bother to glance at Siobhan, who was sitting across the table from me.

"Siobhan, how do like New York?" Daddy Cullen asked.

I left my head hanging low, so she couldn't see the scowl that was on my face.

"Oh it's... busy and chaotic, but coming home at night to Edward makes everything better," she told him, looking over at Edward with lovey-dovey eyes, and then she touched his face and ran her fingers lightly down his arm.

_Fucking gag!_ _Were we soon done here? 'Cause I fucking swear, this was my hell on earth!_

Sure, I figured they were shacking up together, who wouldn't? I mean just look at her, but I guess hearing it and having it confirmed made it worse than I had expected it would. _  
_  
"Well that's... nice," Carlisle said, clearly uncomfortable.

I shook my head and frowned, she didn't even realize that she was making everyone at the table uncomfortable with her PDA.

Dinner continued like that – Siobhan swooning over every word Edward said.

It was even funnier when Edward realized that everyone was uncomfortable and he had to start peeling her off of him.

She just couldn't take a goddamn hint.

It was one of the longest assed meals I'd ever had the fucking _un_ -pleasure of partaking in. Now I really needed a drink and I still couldn't have one.

* **C** *

I was on my way up the stairs when Edward caught me.

He was actually alone for once.

"Hey B, the guys are coming over tonight, you gonna come down and grace us with your phenomenal poker skills?"

Like I could say no?

I smiled and nodded. "I'll be down in a bit."

"You know, you already look good, you don't need to go fuss with yourself."

_Did Edward just give me a compliment?_

"Um… Okay," I said blushing and hurried up the stairs 'to go fuss with' myself.

I wasn't upstairs long though before Edward was hollering up to me. I had just enough time to change my top. Somehow during dinner I got a few spots of soda on my shirt, so I decided a new one was best. I dug out my fitted black scoop neck top. I loved it, it was super comfortable, hugged my slim waist and, even though I didn't have much to offer in the boobs department, it made it look like I had a little something to offer - you know, more than a handful was a waste anyways… or so I'd been told.

I rushed downstairs just in time to witness him introducing Ms. Model to his friends. Edward didn't do that. Ever. Girls were girls just with him. They didn't invade time with his buddies, especially when he didn't see them much.

I was done stalling; I gulped back the lump in my throat, donned my big-girl panties and walked into the kitchen.

All the guys were there. Paul, Ryan, Emmett, Jackson, and Devin. Yep, I knew them all because when I was growing up around here I probably hung out with them as much as Edward did.

I also scammed them out of unbelievable amounts of money because I was just that amazing at poker, something they seemed to forget when they had few beers in them.

Paul looked the same with his short cropped hair and deep brown eyes. He was still tall as ever, but he was no longer skinny as a rail. I guess since summer he'd hit the gym and found himself some muscles. I never missed the appeal that girls found in him. He was perfect with his bright white teeth and tan skin. He looked like he belonged in board shorts standing next to some hot young thing on the cover of a surfer mag. But he was smart too, which was why Rose had a vested interest in him. And when I looked over at her I could see her tongue wagging at the new improvements he had made. Yep, very nice indeed.

Ryan ran his hands through his dirty blonde hair before he shook hands with Siobhan. His grey eyes locked with hers and I could tell what he was thinking. It was written all over his face. Edward could too because I saw his hand wrap even tighter around her shoulders. Ryan was a bit of a horn dog, but we all still loved him just the same.

Next in the greeting line was Jackson. He was disheveled as always, sparking conversations about whether or not he was actually homeless. He wasn't, by the way, but lots of people always assumed he might be. He just liked to live his life how he felt comfortable. Which was why, at twenty-eight, he was still completely single. Jackson's greasy brown hair might be a turn off, but those crystal blue eyes were enough to make some women look the other way at his hygiene habits.

Then there was Emmett, dark hair and dark eyes just like Paul, but he was a white boy. Emmett was a jokester and we'd played many tricks on one another over the years. Emmett was the classic older brother that I never had. He had a special level of deep caring in him, but he didn't like to explore that a lot, no, he liked to keep it pretty happy and carefree if he could.

Finally there was Devin; he was the most hesitant about Siobhan. It was quite obvious actually, to me at least. Everyone else greeted her like she was a sight for sore eyes, but Devin just kept looking my way when Edward was going through the introduction process. Those light green eyes would flick to me then back to her. I could tell he was really thinking about something and I couldn't wait to get him alone to talk about it. After they split away, I watched as he shook his auburn hair and then focused back on me.

"Bella baby!" Emmett called, but I could see Devin was headed over for the first hug.

I was right.

Devin's strong arms lifted me up in to a nearly Emmett-like crushing hug. "Bella," he breathed into my hair.

"Hey Dev," I sighed quietly, "long time no see, how're you doing?" I asked as I was still being crushed into him.

"I'm good B! Real good," he said smiling as he moved to set me down. "We need to talk later."

I nodded. I knew he had some thoughts on Ms. Model and he wanted to share them with me.

Emmett shoved Devin out of the way to get in for his hug. I loved the guys they always gave me the warmest welcome.

His low whistle, while I stood there under his wandering gaze, made me a bit uncomfortable, but it was just Emmett so I threw on a smile and batted my eyes up at him.

He laughed and wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a tight hug.

"Hey Em," I said when he finally put me down.

"Hey Lil' B, looking good there girl, how you been?" he asked with a beautiful Emmett smile on his face.

"I'm great, you know," I lied with a smile.

"Make way," Ryan said elbowing both boys out of the way.

He dipped down and kissed me on the cheek. "Oh Bella, it's so good to see you."

"You too Ry," I said back, blushing at the attention. The guys had always been affectionate with me before, but I guess I never really noticed it like I did now.

Even though I was busy getting welcomed in from the guys, I didn't miss Rose's hand signals, she had one arm wrapped around Paul's waist. But, her other one she was using to try to covertly point to Edward. And when I looked at him from Ryan's shoulder, I saw that he was scowling. He must not have liked that the boys were paying me so much attention.

_Well too damn bad Mr. Edward Cullen._

Hey, I was twenty dammit and if boys wanted to pay attention to me, they could damn well pay attention to me. Bring it on boys!

After the meet and greets were over I slid past most of the boys and made my way over to Jackson, he was always quiet and laid back.

"Hey Jay, how's life been treating you?" I wondered as he enveloped me in a gentle hug.

I took my time to enjoy it because Jay didn't offer those out to just anyone.

"Pretty good B, you?"

"Eh, you know. I'm looking forward to going back to school actually," I told him quietly.

He laughed and pulled back to look at me, "I never thought I'd hear those words come out of your mouth."

I shrugged, not wanting to give too much away. Jay was pretty perceptive, so I wasn't about to show him my hand.

We pulled apart and I made my way back the center of the kitchen, purposefully ignoring Siobhan. She looked pretty pissed that the boys had all wanted to desperately welcome me home. I had a feeling she wasn't used to sharing the attentions of the men around her.

"Who wants to play cards boys?" I asked. And yes, I meant to say boys 'cause God only knew what I would do if I got stuck with her at my table.

We were three games in and I was raking in the cash. The guys were getting drunk, and I was getting annoyed. My red Solo cup only had water in it and that bitch had plunked her ass down at the table at the start of the new hand.

"What about this hand baby? Do you think it's good enough to finally beat her?" Ms. Model asked Edward. Her fingers trailed over his neck and they made my blood boil.

I shook it off, took a deep breath and continued to play.

An hour or so later, after I had taken the majority of their cash, everyone quit. Paul and Rose were in the living room talking quietly. I could see her smile and hear her laugh softly every once in a while, so I knew things were going good over there.

I yawned and stretched my arms over my head after I finished counting my take. I made three hundred and forty two bucks. Not bad. I stowed it away and began picking up empties, trying to clean up before I slipped upstairs for the night. I didn't need Esme to wake up to mess, even though I knew she'd never say anything.

I dropped the empties on the counter and turned on the water to wash them out.

Ryan and Jackson were outside having a smoke and Edward and Ms. Model were keeping them company. I shook my head when I heard her fake laugh through the closed kitchen door.

"She really gets to you, doesn't she?"

I didn't jump when I heard Dev come up behind me, because this was what we did, somehow whenever we got together, we managed to find a little alone time to catch up and talk. We shared a special friendship that meant a lot to me.

I shrugged noncommittally because I sure as fuck didn't need him to know that I _really_ liked Edward; even after all these years. That would make things super awkward.

"Well, she bothers me," he said softly.

"Really?" I asked turning to face him.

"Yeah, I get a bad vibe from her."

"You know, I thought the only vibe you guys would have gotten from her would be popping in your pants."

His brows pushed together and he sighed, and I turned back to my task.

"Bells, just because she's pretty doesn't mean she holds a candle to some girls."

"Dev, that's a sweet thing to say, but in reality, looks like hers matter to guys."

I finished up and tossed the empties in the recycling bin and turned around. I was surprised to see that he was still standing there, right behind me.

His arms snaked around my waist and he pulled me into him gently.

"You like him still, don't you?" he asked softly.

I knew there was no point in denying it; Dev had known me too long for that shit, so I just nodded into his shoulder, while he rubbed my back.

"I'm sorry B," he whispered softly resting his cheek on the top of my head.

I nodded again, enjoying the feeling of being wrapped in someone's comforting arms.

"Dev!" Edward said loudly and we pulled away from each other. "It's getting late, why don't you hit the road."

Edward had said it more like a command instead of a suggestion, making me want to kick his ass at how rude he was being, but I didn't. Instead, I took advantage of a great situation.

I gave Dev a long, sweet hug goodbye and saw him to the door.

Sure, to Edward what he saw probably looked like we were having an intimate moment, boy would he be shocked if he knew we were just bonding over our mutual dislike for his girlfriend.

I was about to stomp upstairs but then I realized Edward was finally alone, so I figured it was best to ask him about the movie now.

"Hey Edward?"

"Yeah?" he asked sounding frustrated.

I wavered on whether or not I should ask him, but I decided to bite the bullet.

"Do you wanna maybe hit a movie with Rose and me sometime this week?"

I didn't bother to bat my eyelashes at him like Ms. Model had been doing since she had been here.

He seemed a bit startled when I asked him, but he regained his composure quickly.

"A movie?"

"Yeah, you know, to hang out. Spend some time together, just you, me and Rose."

"Sure, sounds good to me."

I couldn't control myself. I leaped into his arms for a hug and he hugged me back without a second thought, that was, until the back door opened.

* * *

**So who do you think walked through the door? Teaser for the next chapter will be posted on Friday on my group page of FB. See ya then! :)**


	4. Dance Baby, Dance!

**Thank you to my beautiful beta MC for all her patience with me on this one!**

* * *

**Crushing Chapter 4**

**BPOV**

I rolled over, tossing and turning.

I couldn't sleep.

Not because I wasn't tired.

 _"Oh Edward, you know you want to,"_ I heard, what I assumed was Siobhan's sexy voice.

The walls were thin and I couldn't help but hear them, so I did the only thing I could think of that wouldn't require me to bleach my brain come morning. I cranked up the TV and hoped that they got the picture.

_Why did my room have to be right next to theirs?_

It seemed to work because their voices stopped, so either they were being ridiculously quiet or they had given up all together.

I sighed softly and curled into my pillow hoping for the latter for the sake of my own sanity.

Nothing would be worse than hearing them going at it. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't naive, I didn't think Edward was celibate by any stretch of the imagination, but really, having to sit through hearing it would be enough to make me literally sick.

Thankfully though, there wasn't another peep from them all night. It didn't help with me not sleeping though because I just couldn't get the thoughts of them together in his bedroom out of my imaginative mind. _Shiver._

***C***

In came Carlisle and Edward manning this enormous tree, snow dropping all throughout the house, until they finally reached the corner in the living room where it would stand for the next couple of weeks.

Rose and I hauled box after box of decorations down from the attic, while Esme directed the men just how the tree should be placed in its holder.

"Emmy hon, I know you just want this to look beautiful, but come on," Carlisle groaned, twisting the tree one final time.

"There, that looks perfect," she said as she looked over the tree from top to bottom.

"Good," Edward said brushing off his hands. I noticed his one hand move quickly, and with his back to me he glanced over his shoulder looking at me with a devious look in his eye.

Before I knew it, he was chasing after me with a clump of snow, trying to stuff it down the back of my shirt.

"I'm gonna get you," he threatened laughing gleefully.

I ran like a little girl squealing the whole way.

Finally, he caught up to me in the kitchen and we danced around the island. I kept trying to fake him out, but it wasn't working, considering his legs could get him to the other side of the counter in about two strides.

I took a breath and darted to the left hoping he would go right, but he didn't and he cornered me.

One hand on my arm, the other holding the melting snow. He lifted it up and a few drops of water dripped down the front of my chest and t-shirt.

I shivered and looked up at his face, only to find his eyes were no longer on mine. No, now they were staring at where those droplets had just disappeared to.

I smirked and shoved his hand into his own face.

I didn't want to be the one to break the moment, but really the whole family was on the other side of a swinging door.

"You little," he yelped out of surprise.

I smirked again and watched as he tried to wipe his face off.

He tossed the cloth down of the counter before stalking back over to me. His green eyes were glowing with a fire I hadn't seen before and he looked down at me, making me think those soft, tender lips I had been dreaming about would finally be on mine.

"Alright girls, let's get to work," Esme called, making both of us jump and back away from each other.

Esme, Rose and I unpacked the boxes. I briefly wondered if Ms. Model was going to make an appearance, but I figured she must know that we were decorating the tree and she must not have wanted to help.

Oh well...

Esme hollered to Carlisle for his help with the angel.

"What's up, babe?" he asked winding an arm around her waist.

"The angel needs to go up," she said handing him the delicate looking decoration.

"Sure thing, sweets."

Carlisle expertly reached up and placed it just so, before fixing her skirt and making sure she was straight on the top of the tree.

Esme offered him a kiss before he sat back down and relaxed while we finished up.

I smiled as we hung the last few ornaments and stood back to really take it all in. The tree looked gorgeous and it would look even better when it was packed to the brim with presents underneath it.

"Come on kids, we're gonna light her up," Esme shouted to everyone.

And once Ms. Model had finally dragged her ass downstairs, looking less than enthused I might add, we all stood and watched as the prettiest tree came to life.

My heart broke a little as Edward's head dipped down and he placed a kiss on her lips after we all commented on how beautiful it was and what a great job we had all done together. _Minus Ms. Model ._ _  
_  
Gah…

***C***

"Hey Bella, wait up," Edward asked softly, grabbing on to my arm.

I hated how my skin tingled under his touch.

I was headed out to the garage. I needed some time by myself. Carlisle and Esme were all loved up in the kitchen, and Edward and Siobhan had been cuddling on the couch in the living room, and I'd had just about as much as I could take. I just needed some non-lovey-dovey breathing room; God what did he want?

I turned to him with a sigh, trying not to shiver as the wind whipped around us. I cursed myself for being stupid enough to go out in just a t-shirt.

"What's up?"

"Oh, I just wanted to ask if tomorrow would work for you and Rose, for the movie?"

I instantly smiled and nodded.

_Finally, some time with just him!_

"And, I was hoping you guys wouldn't mind if Si came with us?" he asked sweetly.

_Si, really? What was she some kind of fraternity now?_

I wanted to shout no, _fucking hell no,_ but I figured it was better he didn't know that I secretly wanted to burn her hair off.

"Sure, that's fine," I answered softly, with a fake smile painted on my face.

"Great, she'll be so excited."

I murmured something back to him and continued to the garage. I wanted to find a pillow to scream into. There was just no way I was going to get in any alone time with him.

I breathed in the chilly air and sat defeated with my back against Esme's car as I thought over everything.

There were no obvious answers and I couldn't just let myself sit back and watch Edward be with that twit. It just wasn't in my DNA to give up. I had fucked the dog on doing something about my feelings for Edward for so long and now that I was finally ready to act on them… Yeah, I had to at least _try_.

***C***

"He wants to bring her," I sighed in the comfort and security of Rose's room.

Even Rose scowled. "Fuck."

Yep, she was just as on board with getting rid of her as I was. I guess Sio had made some kind of comment about how Rose looked thinner in the pictures Edward had shown her. Yeah, that was enough to make me want to lunge across the table with my butter knife and hack her apart. _Not really, but it was the thought that counted, right?_ Rose was anything but fat and no one was going to sit there and say that about _my_ best friend and live to tell about it. _Bitch._

"Well then, we'll just have to fight fire with fire," she murmured softly with an evil grin.

I wondered what she meant by that, but it _was_ Rose so I knew it had to be good.

She pulled out her phone and before I knew it she was jabbering away.

To Paul, I assumed, just by the change in her attitude and the smile on her gorgeous face.

"Yeah... Tomorrow around eight, if that works for you... Sure... Okay babe, see you then."

I didn't even need to say anything, nope, I let my eyebrow do all the talking for me.

"Oh Bells," she said with a wicked grin, "I just figured if Eddie is bringing a date, then we should too, you know?"

I shrugged, it wasn't a half bad idea except for the fact that I wasn't at school and I had no guys readily available for a date.

"Yeah, that's all fine and dandy, but who am I supposed to bring?"

"Bella, for shit's sake girl, are you that blind? Any of the guys would love to have you on their arm for the evening, and it might just show my numbskull brother that you're not exactly the little kid that he remembers."

"Yeah, but I don't want to use them," I whispered, losing all my confidence in this plan. There was just no way I could do that to one of them, I loved them all.

"Then go with Dev, doesn't he know that you like E?"

"Yes, but I'm pretty sure he legitimately likes me," I explained, remembering the time in the kitchen, and of course our encounters from years before, Dev had always been very affectionate with me.

"So then, just tell him the deal, see if he's cool with it, just going out as flirty friends, and make sure he knows everything up front. That way, in the end, there are no hurt feelings."

Okay, I had to hand it to her, she made a hell of a lot of sense.

So I pulled out my phone, made the call, and I went over everything with Dev. Rose stood there and mouthed a few important bits to me as the conversation went on and by the end of it he seemed agree to everything, including the fake date. He said he didn't like Siobhan any more than us girls, and after I explained to him what she said about Rose he really wanted her out of the picture.

"Dev, you're really great and I know that... that you like me, I just hope this won't be too hard for you," I said softly.

"Nah, it shouldn't be too hard, I know what the goal is, don't worry," he promised. "You are special to me Bella and I want you to be happy. Let's just have fun and go with the flow."

"Thank you," I whispered.

"Anything for you, Bella, just make sure that when that bitch is gone, it doesn't take you two more years to make your move, because someone else might come along and try to scoop you up," he warned softly.

"I'll do my best Dev."

"Okay then, goodnight baby girl," he said sweetly.

"Night."

And with that, our whole plan was set in motion.

"So, should I talk about the guys coming with us in front of him at breakfast?" I wondered. I wasn't sure how I wanted Edward to find out.

"No, even better, we won't tell him," she said excitedly. Her blue eyes lit up and looked like they were about to catch fire.

"Really? You think that's a good idea?"

She nodded her head vehemently, "Oh yeah, it's gonna work out wonderfully."

***C***

With a good night's sleep under my belt and having the day pass surprisingly quickly, I found myself in Rose's room getting all prettied up for our night out.

"Wear the skinny jeans and the dark green V-neck," she said after seeing me mulling over my choices.

I wasn't sure about it because the skinny jeans would mean I would have to wear heels.

"Come on Bella, you'll look smokin'! Your ass will look fabulous in those and that scoop neck... _mhm.._ _._ yeah, I'd do ya _._ "

I smiled and laughed at her goofiness and the agreed, taking the clothes to the bathroom to change into them.

I wiggled around in front of the mirror and checked out my butt, Rose was right, it did look good, I had to admit. But when I slipped the top on, I stopped dead. There was a lot of boobage. I wasn't sure if that was good thing or not, but I didn't feel very comfortable about it.

I walked out of the bathroom, running smack dab into Siobhan. _Great, just fucking great!_

"Oh Bell, don't you look pretty. Are you trying to impress someone?" she asked sweetly.

I shrugged my shoulders, and gave a noncommittal grunt.

_Yeah, your boyfriend..._

"Well, just remember sweetie that some people, older ones, can be a bit out of your league," she offered before going into the bathroom and shutting the door.

I wondered if she knew more than she was letting on or if she was referring to the guys.

But then I realized I didn't give a shit either way. Dev liked me so it was obvious I _could_ get older men. It was just a matter of getting the one I wanted.

I walked back into Rose's room, finding her dressed beautifully. God, she was lucky. Rose was pure curves and good curves. She could give Ms. Model a run for her money. She was dressed in some hugging skinny jeans that made her ass look amazing and on top she had on deep blue silky number that really made her look older than twenty.

I let out a low whistle.

Rose turned around and giggled, "So, I guess I don't have to ask what you think?"

I shook my head, "No, you look amazing!"

"So do you, damn look at those titties! I bet they're relieved to finally see the light of day."

I snorted.

She laughed, too, both of us falling back on to the bed.

Once we calmed down, I told her all about my run-in in the hallway.

"That bitch doesn't have a clue," Rose muttered while she fixed my hair.

She was determined to have me leave it down, so she blew it out and straightened it and by the time she was done it looked almost as sleek as Ms. Model's. I was surprised; I never thought my hair could look that good.

"Wow Rose, you really outdid yourself," I said softly, marveling over my new look in the mirror.

"It's all you B, I told you that you look so fuckable with your hair down. Dev is gonna be so proud to have you on his arm tonight."

I scoffed, I hoped so, and then watched as she did her own hair. Soft curls flowed from her shoulders down her back, she looked absolutely gorgeous.

"Rose, I don't know how Paul's gonna keep his hands off of _you_ tonight."

"Who said he was?" she replied with a devilish grin.

***C***

Rose and I were crammed in the back of the Camaro, texting back and forth. Ms. Model was riding shotgun, but that really wasn't shocking to me.

I was dying to get there, just to see the look on Edward's face.

We rolled up and parked, all the way at the edge of the parking lot so no one would hit Edward's baby. I cursed him the whole time I clung to Rose as we made our way across the parking lot. I made sure Rose and I were in front of him so he could get a good glimpse of just how awesome I looked in my jeans and the towering peep toe pumps.

We hit the sidewalk in front of the theater and it was then that I got exactly what I wanted. Edward halted his footsteps and I heard Siobhan bitching that she almost fell.

Paul and Devin were waiting for us at the doors. Dev's foot up against the wall in a very casual manner and Paul was just lingering, finishing up a cigarette as we approached.

I decided to really play it up.

"Dev! Baby, there you are!" I said running into his open arms.

Rose did the same, but for real, you know?

I placed a soft kiss on Dev's cheek and looked up into his soft green eyes for effect and wondered if it was doing the trick. Dev seemed to read my mind when he looked down at me and nodded.

I giggled a little like Dev had just told me something dirty in my ear, and then grabbed his arm and waited to be escorted inside.

Behind us was Edward and Siobhan and I could practically hear him growling as we stood in line for our tickets and snacks.

We got our snacks and tickets and stood off to the side to wait for the others.

Dev's arm wound around my waist and I smiled up at him. He really knew how to play this up.

"What are they doing here?" Edward asked Rose. Clearly, he was referring to Paul and Devin.

"We asked them to come, we figured if you were bringing your _girlfriend_ that it would be okay if we brought some dates along, too," Rose explained calmly.

"Whatever," Edward sighed and got back in line. Paul had already paid for their things and stepped aside.

Dev and I walked hand in hand in to the small theater, there weren't many seat open except for the back row.

We took our seats and began munching. I was surprised when Edward sat right next to me. He whispered something to Siobhan, and then leaned over to me.

"It's gonna be a good movie."

"Yeah, I think so," I told him. It was a big blockbuster movie, so it was bound to be really good.

The previews started playing and Rose and Paul took their seats on the other side of Siobhan.

"That one looks really good, huh?" Edward asked, still leaning towards me. I don't think he realized for even a second how dangerous a position it was to be that close.

I went with it anyways though and nodded.

Another preview played on the screen and there he was again asking me for my review on it.

"Yes Edward, it looks good," I said turning a bit in my seat so I was facing forward, but leaning into Dev. "What do you think, Dev?"

Dev nodded and I side eyed Edward to see him looking upset, but he took the hint and started whispering with Siobhan.

"If I was just a few years older..." I muttered.

"You wouldn't be here," Dev said softly.

I turned to him and gaped, "What do you mean by that?"

"Just that, if you were a few years older you probably wouldn't be friends with Rose and you wouldn't be here with any of us," Dev explained softly.

I nodded, understanding what he was saying.

The movie began playing and I saw Edward's hand creep over and hold on to Ms. Model's hand.

I wanted to scowl, but I thought better of it, because if Edward saw me making a fuss over him and Siobhan I figured it would crush any plans I had to spend with him together... alone.

I sat back and legitimately tried to enjoy the movie. It was good, action packed, but it was over before we knew it and I wasn't exactly ready to go home.

Apparently neither was Rose.

My phone buzzed and when I opened it was a text from her.

**Wanna go out after this-R**

Yeah sure-B

**How about Larry's-R**

Sounds good to me-B

I told Dev about it and he said he'd love to hang out some more. The guy was great, but just not quite what I was looking for, I was glad that he knew that though. **  
**  
We all walked out of the theater and down into the cold parking lot, Paul and Rose first, all cuddled together, and me with Dev as he held me close while we crossed the ice riddled, tar covered tundra.

"Where are you going?" Edward asked curtly, when he saw that I was heading in another direction with Devin.

I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes at him.

"Oh, Rose and I are going to Larry's with the guys, we were gonna hang out and dance," I told him as I wrapped my arm around Dev's waist.

"Did she call Mom?"

My eyebrows furrowed together and I looked back up at him, he knew that Rose didn't have to check in with Esme. She lived at college for chrissakes, so Esme wouldn't give a shit about where she was going. Sure, she would want to know that Rose was safe, but she knew that Rose was responsible and street smart.

"No, why, did you call her?" I snapped back at him.

I knew what he was doing, he wanted Paul to think about Rose's age, probably Dev too, but what Edward didn't realize was that neither one really cared about our ages. Sure, I wasn't actually _with_ Devin, but I knew he liked me and that my age didn't matter one bit to him.

Edward threw his hands up and shook his head.

"Alright, well goodnight Edward, we're gonna go now, see you guys," I said sweetly as I started towards Devin's car.

I heard Siobhan grouching about how she wanted to go dancing... _Ugh just fuck my life already, will ya?_

"Fine, I can't leave them alone anyways," he snapped at her. "We'll meet you guys there," he told the rest of us.

***C***

The bar was crowded, but that much was to be expected. It was winter break and our little town was bursting at the seams with kids coming home to see their loved ones.

Smoke swirled with the wind as we shook off our clothes from the dusting of snow.

"We're not staying long," Edward gritted out.

"You can go whenever you want," Rose snapped.

"No I can't, Mom would be pissed to know that I left you two at a bar," he said motioning to me.

This time I didn't bother to hold back the eye roll.

"Are you sure it's just Mom you're talking about there, Eddie?" Rose asked him, with a pointed glare. She wasn't messing around. "Mom wouldn't care and you fucking know it. Believe it or not big brother, Bella and I aren't little girls anymore and we're allowed to have grown-up fun."

"Come on man, lighten up, Rose is right, we're just all having fun, nothing bad is gonna happen," Dev reassured him, tightening his hold on my waist.

Edward looked even more upset, but didn't say anything.

"Let's go get a table," he said to Siobhan, not bothering to see if she was following him or not as he weaved through the people to find an open table.

"Are you sure you really want to play this game, he's getting really pissed," Dev said, looking down at me.

I sighed and thought about it for a minute. This was really the only way that Edward was going to realize that I was something other than his pseudo little sister.

"Yeah, I think this is the only way," I said quietly, resting my hands on his chest. "Plus, I enjoy being with you Dev, okay?"

"'Kay, if you're sure."

Then he pulled me along through the throngs of people to the table that Edward had found. Rose was sitting on Paul's lap, giggling and genuinely having fun, so I decided to do the same.

Dev's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets, but he recovered quickly and played along.

"Hey guys," a young blond said as she came up with drink napkins, passing them out all around the table. "My name's Dannie and I'll be your waitress tonight, can I start you guys off with anything?"

"Two waters for them," Edward said pointing to Rose and I. I wasn't surprised; Edward wasn't one to let us drink. "And I'll take a beer."

"Same here," Dev added.

"I'll have a coke, if she can't drink I won't either," Paul said softly.

"Well, I'll have a daiquiri, unlike some people I am old enough to drink," Siobhan said flipping her hair.

"Alright, those'll be up in a minute," Dannie said with a nod and took off towards the bar.

Rose had her phone out and I figured when mine buzzed it was her.

**Why don't we go out there & shake our stuff?-R**

I nodded in her direction and slid off of Dev's lap, grabbing his hand as I went, I pulled him to the dance floor, really just wanting to have some fun at that point.

It was warm and the music was good so I really let my hips get into it. They must've been enticing because Dev's hands slid around them as he pulled me into him.

Rose and Paul were having their own fun a few feet from us. And Rose and I both squealed in excitement when _She Can Ride_ by Dru came on, we loved that song!

My hips swung and Dev's hands tightened their hold on me spinning me around so my back was to his front. The song wore on and we really got into it. We held each other tightly, I dropped my head back onto his shoulder, we were so close, grinding, hands linked; it was intimate and pretty hot dancing, if I do say so myself.

I even let my hips work a few moves in, swiveling and then dropping down. It was a bit dirtier than I normally would've done, but Rose was right next to me spurring me on.

And the smile Dev was sporting told me he didn't mind at all.

Once the song was over, Dev and Paul decided to head back to the table for a break while Rose and I dirty danced to our heart's content. A little girl on girl bumpin' and grindin' never hurt anyone; we had a great time!

Sweat dripped down our faces and we eventually pulled apart, deciding it was time for a much needed water break. We approached the table just in time to hear Dev telling Edward that he liked me. Ms. Model must've made a bathroom run, because she was nowhere to be seen.

"Yeah, I think she's a great girl and I really like her," he said, taking a swig of his beer.

"Don't you think she's a little young for you?" Edward asked gruffly. "I mean, Jesus Dev, she's twenty for fuck's sake; what the hell were you doing to her out there on the dance floor?"

I motioned for Rose to wait so I could catch the rest of the conversation.

"Christ Edward, it's only eight years difference? That's nothing man, besides she's pretty hot E, you gotta admit, and it's not like she acts like a kid, you know?"

Dev was the best guy in the world; I owed him huge for this one.

"I still don't like it," Edward finally said after a few long moments. "She's too young for you."

"Says who?" Dev asked, sounding seriously offended.

"Says me man, have some respect and back the fuck off."

"Why? It's not like she's got a boyfriend and the closest thing she has to a father is Carlisle, I'm sure he won't give a shit."

"He will give a shit!" Edward snarled slamming his fist down against the table making the bottles rattle.

Paul and Devin told him to calm the fuck down and he did. After taking a few deep breaths Edward seemed normal again, but I knew him and that he would still be pissed.

"And you and Rosie, that's not gonna fly with my dad either," he said to Paul.

"Why would you say that? Carlisle seemed fine with it when I asked him," Paul replied.

_Damn good man that Paul is!_

"You asked him?" Edward asked sounding skeptical.

"Well yeah, not for her hand in marriage or anything, but I thought it would be a good idea to ask about going on a date with her, because of her age. He didn't seem to mind at all. He said as long as I treated her right, I had his blessing."

"Fucking idiot," Edward grumbled under his breath.

I didn't need to hear anymore, so I waved Rose on and we both headed table.

"Finally, are you guys ready to go?" Edward asked, sounding irritated.

We all looked around at one another and nodded, it was late and Rose and I had gotten to shake our butts, so we were good to go.

Dev threw some bills down on the table and we all headed to the exit.

"Wait a sec, aren't you gonna wait for Cinnabun or whatever the hell her name is?" Paul asked Edward.

Edward's mouth drooped some more and he turned back to the table.

I wanted to laugh in his face so bad, but instead I waited until I was in the parking lot to let loose.

"I told you it wouldn't last long," Rose said, giggling along with me.

_Nope, not long at all._

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**Be sure to check out my group page for the video to _She Can Ride_ by Dru! It's amazing and my thanks goes out to MC for pointing it out, because I've apparently been living under a rock.  
**

**Btw... what do you think? Jealousward much? But do you think he realizes it? Oh and what about Cinnabun... ahem I mean Siobhan?**


	5. Bagel & Cream Cheese Heartbreak

**A big thank you to MC for being the very best beta a girl could ask for and for being a fuck awesome friend! Also I wanted to give a shout out to Monica Nopi, she was the one that went back and actually read the summary like I was hoping for when I posted the teaser. So she get's the best reader award! Good job Monica! Thanks to all of you for your lovely reviews... now on with the show!**

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**Crushing Chapter 5**

**BPOV**

I was just sitting there in the kitchen the next morning, thinking about all that had happened the night before. The dancing, the movie, Edward, Devin, everything really. I sighed and took a long sip of my coffee. The scorch it left on my tongue was a welcome feeling, it woke me up and reassured my body that caffeine was on its way. My purple fleece robe hung all the way down to my ankles and kept the chill away, as I sat there alone. It was a rarity to be in the kitchen alone in the Cullen household, but somehow I had timed it just right. I was grateful though, alone was just what I wanted to be at the moment.

Just as I was about to pat myself on the back for choosing the right time to roll out of bed, I heard the familiar creek of the stairs and the bounding of heavy feet as they approached. I took a look at my coffee trying to decide what to do, more than half a cup left, damn it!

_Down it and leave or stick around and face him?_

I just didn't have the energy to down it and scurry away, so I stayed on the seat and braced myself. Looking anywhere but at the doorway where I knew he was about to enter.

Edward came bustling in, scuffing his feet the whole way.

"Morning," he said softly avoiding my eyes.

I returned the one word sentiment without looking directly at him, and brought my attention back to my drink. I swirled the dark liquid in my mug and watched as the cream settled in with the warm coffee. I willed myself not to lift my eyes up, even though I really wanted to; I wanted to see just how he looked, his hair, his clothes, everything. But I didn't let myself.

"How are you this morning?" he asked as his head disappeared into the fridge.

I finally let myself look up and see him. His plaid pajama pants and worn black Eagles band shirt made him look delicious. It also made me want to go upstairs and knife the bitch that was currently resting in his bed. But I digress.

And that shirt… That was from the _Hole in the World_ tour. It was from the first concert I had ever gone to, and of course I had gone with him after Ryan had backed out. It was just me, Edward and the rest of the guys, but that was six years ago.

"I'm fine. How about you?"

"Good," he said when he finally emerged with some bagels and cream cheese. My stomach turned just at the sight of them.

I nodded and took another searing sip.

"You want one?"

I shook my head; I couldn't deal with food right now, not with my stomach in the knots that it was in.

"So... You and Devin seem to be... hitting it off," he commented dryly.

It sure seemed more like a statement than a question, but I appeased him with a response anyways. "Yeah, he's a great guy. I had a lot of fun with him last night."

Dev really was a great guy and I really did have fun with him last night, even though things got a little steamy out on the dance floor.

He nodded but said nothing for a few minutes, and then frowned a little before setting his face emotionless, "He's a little old for you though, right?"

I smiled to myself, since Edward was staring down at the toaster. He just wouldn't give up on that little thing, would he?

"No, not really, he's only 28, almost the same age as you and I hang out with you, right? It's really no big deal to me and I don't think it is for Dev either or he wouldn't want to spend time with me. I mean age is just a number, it doesn't define a person."

I felt really proud of myself for not flying off the handle and saying that like the adult I am. I wanted him to see it the way that I saw it. There was no need to harp on anything like that; it was about the person, their heart, their brain, their personality, not their height, weight or age.

"Huh, okay, well, that's up to you and Dev, but don't say I didn't warn you Bella, Dev is _much_ more experienced." He shrugged trying to come off as nonchalant. "Oh, speaking of spending time together, I was thinking, this weekend you and me could go bowling, just the two of us. Like old times, you know?"

Did he just say what I think he

 _said?_ _Holy fuck!_ My head was trying to figure out if my ears had actually heard those words correctly.

Finally, I decided that I must've from the look of expectation on his face.

"Sure," I offered with a shrug, trying to keep the bursting excitement out of my voice.

"Great let me just make sure Si doesn't mind and I'll let you know when, okay?"

I nodded, giving him a little smile.

He sat down beside me with his freshly toasted and cream cheesed bagel and I stared at it, suddenly hungry. My knots seemed to disappear and my stomach stopped turning. I guess some hope was all I really needed. My stomach even growled, making my face heat up in embarrassment. I was going to have to have a talk with it later.

"Want some now?" he asked with a grin, after obviously hearing it.

"Yeah, sure," I said with a smile.

He tore off a bit and fed it to me. His thumb brushed my lip and made my skin tingle, I savored every bite before licking the excess cream cheese from my lips. His smile that lit up the room was so wide and I couldn't stop myself from smiling right back. He did the same from his thumb and I was left a squirming mess. I knew it was pathetic to lust after a guy who was taken, but I really thought Edward was sexy, even doing some of the simplest things.

My eyes met his half-lidded ones and I stared at him. I was wondering if the atmosphere was completely lost on him. I didn't think so, but I still wasn't sure. So I took it one step further, grabbing his hand that had another little piece in his fingers for me and I brought it to my mouth. I let my tongue peek out and lick a little clump of that delicious cream from the bagel, and then his hand came to life before pushing the rest of the piece in between my lips. My tongue brushed his fingertips on their way out and a little moan erupted from my throat at just how damn good that fucking bagel was… ahem, yeah, the bagel. And I swear I heard him groan, making me want to straddle him on the bar seat right then and there, but I didn't.

I watched as he shook his head, coughed and cleared his throat, and then his whole demeanor changed. Our moment was over, that much was clear.

"So speaking of Si, what do you think of her?" he asked, averting my eyes.

 _I hate that Goddamn cunt? Was that what he wanted to hear?  
_  
"She seems... nice," I offered, once I collected myself.

"Oh good, so you do like her."

I nodded lightly trying to keep myself from snorting at his complete misreading of my actual feelings for Ms. Model, but this was so not what I wanted to be talking about with him. I wanted to go back to that bagel… and his fingers. I bit my lip just remembering what it felt like.

"Well, I wanted to tell you something important."

"Oh yeah, what's that?" I said in a bored tone before taking a long sip of my now cooling coffee. What could be more important than that bagel and his fingertips brushing against my lips… either set really…?

I shook my head and tried to concentrate, because he was my friend and I wanted him to have my full attention. Clearly what he was trying to tell me was important to him.

"I wanted you to be the first one to know," he began softly, finally meeting my eyes, "I asked Si to marry me."

_What the mother fuck?_

My stomach dropped to my feet and so did my heart. Suddenly that little bit of bagel I'd ingested felt like it was going to make another appearance.

Then, I realized he was looking at me for some kind of approval. So, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in through my nose, sucked it up and looked him in the eyes. My fake smile probably left much to be desired, but hey I was trying, right? "That's... uh... really wonderful, Edward."

"Thanks," he said quietly.

I slipped off the stool and left the room without another word as the first tear slipped down my cheek.

I stumbled down the hall, grabbed the banister to brace myself before running as fast as I could up the stairs to get to my room before the dam broke, and I completely lost control over the fragile barrage I had been living with since arriving.

_Edward was engaged…_

_"I asked Si to marry me."_ Those words rang in my ears over and over as I took the stairs two at a time.

As soon as I closed my bedroom door, I collapsed on the floor; I guess I hadn't realized just how much I had hoped we had a chance, but now, I knew that was done, over, he had just crushed all my hopes and dreams.

I don't know how long I sat there and sobbed, but the knock on the door shook me out of my stupor.

"Bella, are you okay?" Rose's soft voice asked from out in the hallway.

_The walls are like paper..._

I tried to calm my breathing and return my voice to normal before I answered back.

"Yep," was my short response.

"Are you sure?" she continued; I could hear the concern in her voice.

She was my best friend, she would know without a doubt when I wasn't alright.

The doorknob wiggled and I slid forward on the floor, letting her in, because I figured it was best to get it over with sooner rather than later.

Her blue eyes looked me over and for a minute she was quiet. I figured she had an idea about why I was crying.

"What's going on?" she finally whispered.

I ran my hands over my face and through my hair then took a deep breath, "He's engaged to her."

I figured it wasn't worth beating around the bush. She was going to find out soon enough anyways. Surely they would be announcing it to the family soon, and then I would have to plaster a motherfucking smile on my face yet again, all the while I slowly died inside.

"He's what?" She gaped at me. She looked completely shocked, which was about right.

I raised my eyebrows and gave her a look that showed I meant what I said.

"When and how do you know, and I don't?" she asked, looking pissed.

"I don't know when, but he told me this morning. He wanted me to know first for _some_ reason."

Her anger transformed into sadness, those blue eyes softened when she took in my appearance and she knelt down to hold me.

"Why would he want to marry her?" she asked as she rubbed my back and helped me up off the floor, guiding me out into the hallway and over to her room. I was glad we were headed there; I didn't want _her_ or anyone else for that matter to hear my pain.

I shook my head as we slowly settled on her bed; I was at a loss of what could be the answer, as more tears streamed down my face.

 _Edward was engaged…_ _"I asked Si to marry me."_ It just kept replaying over and over and it wouldn't fucking stop.

_What did she have that I didn't... besides the obvious?_

Rose and I stayed holed up in her room. Music blasted as she sat there and just held me, gently stroking my hair. The likes of Skid Row and Blue October came coursing through the speakers. Those were our go to songs for pain. We both liked to hear our feelings in songs when emotions were running high.

"Bella, are you gonna be alright?" she asked after a while.

I shrugged, not really knowing.

I guess I felt more for him than a stupid crush. _Who knew?_

"I think... I love him, Rose," I whispered. "I… I feel like my heart is being crushed into a million pieces."

She gulped and nodded. I didn't dare to look up at her, I was afraid of how she would react, and at the moment she was my only source of comfort. I needed her and rejection just wasn't in the cards at the moment.

Instead, I continued to lay on my side staring at the wall, while the sobs wracked through my body. Her pillow ended up catching the tears that were shed.

Her hand never stilled though, always rubbing soft circles on my back, making the pain slowly ease. That was until I thought about it again... then a fresh wave of anger and pain would come forth and wreck the calm that had just stilled itself.

"Rosie hon, Bella, do you guys want to come down for dinner?" Esme asked a while later through the door.

I shook my head, but didn't say anything. I shuddered trying to gain control of my body again, but it was almost useless.

"No Mom, we're okay," she shouted back, like the trooper of a friend that she was being.

The knob twisted and I heard the familiar creak of the door opening. Esme was coming in and she was going to find me a mess. I hurried to wipe the tears away with my sleeve and suck up the snot, but no amount of wiping could make my red blotchy face go away. There was just no way I was going to be able to hide from her.

"Did you guys have a little too much fun last night?" she asked with a hint of humor in her voice. Esme was an easygoing mom. She understood that, even though we were still a few months away from being legal to drink, that we did in fact drink. "Maybe a bit too much of that Mexican culprit?"

Tequila was my favorite… and she knew it.

I was so glad my back was to her; maybe Rose would pass it off as a hangover. _God knows I've had plenty of them._

"No," Rose said softly, and I almost hit her.

_Why couldn't she just roll with it?_

"What's the matter baby?" Esme asked as she came around to my side of the bed.

I shook my head and kept my eyes closed, there was no way I could face her. This was so not something I really wanted to discuss with her. She was going to think I was an awful person.

Her sweet mothering hand reached up and she smoothed my hair softly, I leaned into her touch, I don't know if I was starved for some kind of parental attention of if it was just Esme's gentle manner, but something made it okay for her to see me like this.

"Bella honey, are you sick?" Esme asked softly, in a tone that told me that she knew I wasn't actually sick. "You know, Bella, I love you, and you can talk to me about anything, right?"

Yes, I knew all that. So instead of lying to the one person that had been more of a mother to me than my own, I shook my head and opened my eyes. I leaned up on my elbow so she could see that I wasn't sick and that she was right; there was definitely something very wrong.

Her hand softly cradled my face and her thumb worked away the stray wetness. "What's the matter my sweet girl?" she asked, her eyes searching mine, trying to find some kind of hint.

I shook my head, not able to verbalize it. Then, I turned my head to Rose to see if she would tell her for me. Esme was probably thinking the worst and even if I didn't want to talk about it, I still wanted to make sure that her mind was set at ease.

Rose nodded and cleared her throat before telling her all of the details of why I was so upset.

Rose told her everything…

I watched as Esme's head cocked to the side and she just blinked at her daughter for almost a full minute before speaking.

I knew damn well that it was taking just about everything for Rose to keep from laughing, but she did.

"He's engaged to that awful woman?" was Esme's first reaction that came out as if the wind had been knocked out of her. "What in the name of all that is holy…"

_Yes, ladies and gentleman the sweetest woman in the world just told it like it was!_

Rose busted a laugh out while I just laid there quietly, there was no humor to be found from me, because whether we liked her or not she was soon to become a Cullen.

Her brows furrowed together again, looking more confused than angry. She shook her head and pursed her lips together. I could tell she was processing it all and after she had composed herself, she looked quite calm, surprisingly.

"Rose, how do you know?" she asked softly.

"He told Bella… _first_."

Esme turned her attention back to me and sighed, "Oh dear, it'll be okay, you'll see."

_What the hell? She's not even acting like she's very shocked?_

"Bella, Rose, I am a bit shocked, yes, but to be honest I'm not really. I suspected something serious was going on after he called to say he was bringing her home for Christmas. As you both know, Edward has _never,_ in 29 years, done anything like this regarding a girlfriend." She sighed. "That's not to say I'm not disappointed and angry that he didn't tell us himself, sooner, but I am also concerned because I'm not certain about this Siobhan and whether she is really what he wants in a life partner."

"Mom, you're not surprised, _really_! Have you met that bitch?"

"Rose, language, and yes I know… If he ever tells me about his engagement I'll try to find some time to take him aside and make sure this… she is exactly what he wants for his forever."

Rose nodded and I tried to give her a small smile.

"Bella, honey, you need to remember that nothing is set in stone, though."

Her words didn't help much because it felt like the door to Edward was already sealed shut.

I think she saw this because she made me look her in the eyes again, "You really like Edward?"

I nodded. "Yes, Mom, I've had feelings for him for years."

Esme smiled. "Then go out there and show him you're not _little_ Bella anymore," she said simply.

"That's what she's been trying to do, Ma," Rose answered for me.

She sighed bringing her soft green eyes to mine again, "Honestly, Bella, I would love for you two to be together, I really would, but _you_ have to be the one to make him see that you're not his kid sister."

I nodded, still feeling hopeless.

 _"Esme baby, I'm starving,"_ We heard Carlisle holler up from downstairs.

She giggled and turned to leave, I pushed my face back into the pillow, wanting to return to my wallowing.

"By the way Bella, until there's a ring actually on that finger, nothing is official," she said with a wink.

The door closed and I went back to my sobbing, Rose went back to her rubbing and I loved her for it.

A day passed and I was left in the same shape, but at least now I had ice cream.

Rose was the best friend a girl could ask for. She brought me pints of Ben & Jerry's and we had a whole stack of movies. Not one was a romantic comedy.

_The best I tell you!_

"Do you think you'll be okay?" Rose asked dipping her spoon in to some Cherry Garcia.

I sighed.

"It's just a lot to deal with this close to Christmas. My parents and everything with that don't help."

She nodded softly, completely understanding. "Do you want me to bring you back to the dorm?"

Rose's words stunned me, I hadn't even thought about going back to school.

It would be easier...

But then I pictured myself there on Christmas morning, walking out to the empty quad and going into the even emptier cafeteria. My heart sank. It would be even worse than if I was here and uncomfortable on Christmas morning.

I shook my head quickly.

"No, I don't want to be alone," I whispered. "I want to be with my best friend and my family for Christmas."

Rose smiled and nodded understanding.

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**So yeah, don't be mad at me. This was needed and you'll see why very soon! I promise.**

**See you Friday on the group page for a teaser! Love you all!**


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